Covenant Thursday

"Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen."  

1 Peter 4:10-11

Last Thursday also known as Covenant Thursday, Maundy Thursday, or Holy Thursday was a day I will cherish for a long time.  It was special to me for many reasons, but the main reason is that I have a Savior, a savior that came as an example of a humble servant and loved us enough to give up his life in a nasty way only to overcome death and raise to life as a man not a ghost, but a man with holes in His hands, feet, and side--and I get to serve Him in Bolivia!  His death brings me to tears, but His resurrection brings me immeasurable joy!  This past Thursday added to that joy!  I am thankful to serve a Risen Savior that allows me days like this!

It was a busy day requiring a lot of effort, alertness, and encouragement on my part.  We started our morning with a ceremony commemorating the purity pledge each of my 6th grade students made to wait until marriage and to protect the purity of those around them.  It was beautiful!  The only part I had in this ceremony was to sit and take in the beauty of each one of them signing a commitment/ covenant to  keep their purity.  This quarter they have been a part of a class with the counselor called Preparing for Adolescence.  The ceremony was a perfect finish to the course as they pledged their purity alongside their parents and classmates.  I pray, especially in this culture, that the Lord gives them the strength and friends they need to keep this covenant with themselves and the Lord.  I count myself honored to have witnessed it.  

Abie signing her pledge!

Santiago receiving a purity ring from his parents!

Leo getting a really long hug from mom :)

All my 6th graders with their signed purity pledges

This is Sofia.  Her mom grabbed my hand, Bolivian kissed me a few times and expressed her love for me and the school through tears and Spanish.  I love receiving Spanish love from a Chinese woman!  The Lord has great things planned for this young lady!  I can't wait to hear how He uses her!

The boys enjoying the empanadas afterward

It was also class theme day.  Each class chose their own theme, and through many nominations and voting, my students chose to be a MOTORCYCLE GANG...minus a motorcycle.  I thought it funny that we went from purity to motorcycle gang...ahh, thus is the nature of an adolescent. :)

I love the stash!

Abie is a natural...haha!

Me and my new tattoo...thinking of making it permanent!

6th grade bikers

After a Math test and lunch, we had a Spelling Bee.  We took time each day leading up to Thursday to practice in our classroom.  I asked the principal to call out the words and I got to cheer on my students.  It was so much fun!  A couple of students stayed in longer than they thought they would!  It was so exciting to see them so excited about lasting 2 rounds!  I love these sweet 6th graders!  After we finished the bee, I allowed them to enjoy some extra recess where I joined in on a game of ninja.

I wished them all well and headed to my house with most of my basketball team for a time of laughter, food, and games.  I think we needed some time to enjoy each other outside of basketball...FUN was had by all!

Yes, I still have some Christmas decor up...:-/

That evening our servant leaders from school aka "the crew" got together at a neighbors house for dinner and a foot washing ceremony.  It was a powerful night for me and I suspect for many of our students.  Many of them had never washed anyone's feet before or had their own feet washed.  I was reminded of a special service we had at Gander Brook years ago where the counselors washed the feet of our campers and of each other.  It was beautiful!  This night was equally beautiful!

Emily, the other female leader, and I got to wash the feet of the girls in the group.  It was awkward at first, as I am sure it was when Jesus washed the feet of his disciples.  I was honored to happen to wash the feet of most of my basketball  players of the group and the two girls that I disciple.  It was humbling to sit at their feet and pour into them in a way that I had not yet done and to talk to them from a position of a servant.  After Emily and I finished washing their feet, they set out to wash the feet of those that they long to serve.  To my surprise and more humility, four of the girls turned around and washed my feet while offering words of encouragement and affirmation over me that I didn't know I needed.  He allowed me to see three younger sisters wash the feet of their older brothers as well.  It was a powerful picture of how He longs for us to serve each other...even our immediate family!  What an amazing, loving Lord we serve that he gave us in His life, death, and resurrection as an example of how we should love one another!

The guys praying after they washed each other's feet.

Olyn washing my feet--She is a true servant in  life!

Emily and Wes--brother and sister

Tayo and Karla-brother and sister

Hope, Direction, and Nourishment from 1 Kings 19

As I said in my last post, the Word of God is living and active.  He uses it to convict, to strengthen, and to push us to be the best for Him!  In the last 4 years, God has used one particular chapter of the Bible to give me hope, direction, and nourishment--I Kings 19!  
(I realize there is more to be gotten from this chapter than what I have gained and in my different states of mind and circumstances saw the scripture with different eyes than others may have.  Although others may not gain the same things I did, this is how God chose to use it in my life.)

My brief summary of 1 Kings 19:

Elijah was afraid and ran for his life from Jezebel after the fire of the Lord came down and burned up the sacrifices as well as killed the prophets of Baal.  He was the only prophet left.  As he ran into the desert and fell asleep.  He was awoken by the angel of the Lord twice to eat and drink to give him strength for the journey ahead.  He ran to Horeb, the mountain of God where God asked him what he was doing there.  Elijah's reply was that he was zealous for the Lord, the Israelites rejected the covenant, he was the only prophet left, and they were trying to kill him.  After a mighty wind, an earthquake, a fire, and finally hearing God in a gentle whisper, his reply to same question was still that they were trying to kill him.  God sent Elijah back the way he came to anoint others to be succeed him, including Elisha who he threw is cloak around to designate as his successor.

Hope:
The first time God used this chapter to help me was in 2008 as I sat desperate for the Lord to show me what to do about the fact that I was being pushed out of a ministry position for no good reason.  I was a part of the singles leadership team where everyone on the team was stepping down except for me.  After having a very hurtful conversation with the minister in charge,  I felt like Elijah.  I was the only one left and with zeal I wanted to serve, but he was trying to "kill"/get rid of me.  As I read the passage, I knew I wasn't alone.  The Lord had heard my hurting heart.  I heard him say...Go back the way you came.  I went back to the minister that hurt me and he had changed his mind.  He didn't know why he was trying to push me out and apologized.  Today he and his wife are some of my best friends.  What I didn't know at that time was that God would continue to use that passage in our singles ministry.

Direction:
Two years later when all 5 of us knew it was time to move on from our leadership positions, we spent a weekend seeking God's face for clarity in how to make a smooth transition to new leadership and a new minister.  In that weekend, God brought this chapter back to my mind.  I read it again.  God allowed me to understand how important to "throw our cloaks around" those that were succeeding us.  The group agreed that part of the transition would be a "party" of sorts that allowed us to pass wisdom and truth along to those that were coming after us.  What a blessing that time was, not only for them but for us as we reminisced about what God had done in our ministry through our time of leadership!

Nourishment:
A month ago, he brought to mind this chapter once again.  I was in a state of weariness and fear of inadequacy.  It was not the greatest day with my students and the first day I cried because of their behavior and how I responded to it (not my best day as a teacher).  I was also asked that day to take on another student to counsel in my "spare" time.  I was a little overwhelmed and feeling very inadequate for the job that was before me.  I skipped high school youth group to be with God, and he met me in my state of fear through 1 Kings 19.

Here is an excerpt from my prayer journal:
"1 Kings 19:3- I am afraid like Elijah was and want to run away.  I want to run because even though you put me among these people and it was by your doing that I face these trials, I don't believe it(your protection) will happen. Elijah called your name and you slaughter the prophets of Baal, yet when someone was after him he didn't believe in your protection.  I feel like that.  I feel like you have done some great things already this year, but when it comes to facing difficult conversations with people or counseling kids with issues I don't know how to handle--I want to run."

Through 1 Kings 19 the Holy Spirit was convicting me of my unbelief and calling me out of my pity party while showing me that he will provide all I need.  It is not in my own strength that I am to live this life, but in His! Just like he was faithful to Elijah to prepare him for a forty day journey by waking him twice to eat and drink, the Lord will prepare and awaken me to the nourishment that He always has ready for me.  

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.  Be self-controlled and alert.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."  
1 Peter 5:6-8

Elijah, Peter and I are loved by the same God that sustains his creation and prepares us for what is to come. In His strength we will overcome the fears the devil puts in front of us.  Through Him we are prepared for the moments our flesh is weak!  Whom shall we fear?  The God of Angel armies is always by our side!

The top 10 things I have learned lately...

This is #11, I can't wait for baseball season to be in full swing!

Let me clarify...Some of these things were already revealed to me at an earlier time, but there has been clarity and confirmation this past month.  Let the countdown commence!!

10. I love TeachBeyond!

      At the beginning of February, Mark Giebink, a member care person from TeachBeyond came for a long weekend to check on us TeachBeyonders in Bolivia. It was such an encouragement to have him here to experience the day in the life of a teacher at SCCLC and to know that we are supported and prayed for by the TeachBeyond higher ups.  One night while he was here we took him out for a very Bolivian dinner with Bolivian food, dancing, and dramatics!  He brought a little refreshment to our lives here! Thank you Mark and TeachBeyond for caring about your people!
      If you would like to be sent by a great organization and love working in school visit this TeachBeyond website and also see this list of schools all over the world that need teachers and administrators. 

TeachBeyonders: Esther, Mark, me, Rachel, Christine

9.  Cooler windy days are my happy place!

     This weekend and the earlier part of this week we had overcast skies that kept out most of the heat and made for some amazingly cool days. God is so faithful to give me those days when I am at my point of wanting to sit in front of an air conditioner for the rest of my life (ok...maybe a little dramatic... but seriously it is HOT here!) 

8. I love my family!
    These last few months my family has had some pretty big ups and downs.  My niece, Haley had a virus that caused her brain to swell which in turn caused many side effects one of which was a seizure that put her in a coma.  Since coming out of it, she has been in constant therapy to help reteach her some of the everyday things that most of us take for granted.  I am thrilled to say that she is improving everyday and that her community has gathered around her and my brother's family to provide support and have even done fundraisers for them.  It is great to see the love and support they have had through this whole ordeal!  Please pray for her has she continues to improve!
   Through Haley's ordeal, as awful as it was, our family has seen healing.  Six years ago, because of our reactions to the horrible actions of one man, our family saw much separation and anger.  Yet through the inexplicable ordeal of a 14-year-old girl, we were brought together again.  Although I rejoice in the healing, I am sad I am not there to experience it full-on with hugs, conversation, and tears (well, I have had tears).  God has once again proven to me his faithfulness to provide healing, physical and emotional, in his time.  I can't help but think today, as they lay to rest the man whose actions tore us apart, if he ever allowed himself to experience the true faithfulness and grace that our Almighty Father can give.  Grandpa, I pray you sought that relationship, forgiveness, and grace that He so freely gives.

Mama, Haley, and Papa at the hospital

7. I am not the best teacher!

    I have always knows that I was not a great teacher.  When I was determining my major in college, I proudly told my parents that I would NOT be a teacher.  Well, I am now in my 10th year of teaching.  Little did I know what God would do in my life with the students and fellow teachers that I have worked with along the way.  I count them all as blessings!  But it is new cultures and new students, that continue to humble me.  When I came here I thought that the classroom would be the place that I would find comfortable compared to the discomforts of a whole new country. Boy was I mistaken!  It has been one of the most uncomfortable places since I have been here and at times I want to run far away from it!  As I sit in the midst of 9 boys and 8 girls, I have found that they are the best teachers.  They know each other better than I do.  They communicate to each other in ways that I can not.  When I try to teach them I let my allergies, frustration, and expectations get in the way of the student.  Two young ladies in my class have taught me from their actions that I need to put myself aside and let God use me to help them instead of standing in their way.  Thank you S and C!  I love my students more each day!

6. I love working with high school students!

   My first time to work with high school students was at North Atlanta as a trail guide.  I loved every minute of working with Peyton, Laura, Ana, and Caroline!  They are still some of my favorite people on Earth.  My love and work with them was what catapulted me into looking for a school where I could work with students like them.  Since September, I have been working with a group of amazing students here at SCCLC.  They are open and willing to disciple other students within the school into a relationship with our Lord and Savior. Through this group, I am discipling two young ladies that continue to surprise and impress me with their vulnerability and actions, just like my 4 in Atlanta did!  I love you Emily, Sophi, Peyton, Laura, Ana, and Caroline...and nothing will cause me to not love you...NOTHING!!
   This next week, I get to take a break from working with 6th graders and attend the high school camp with our school.  Please pray that this is a spiritually uplifting time for our students as well as a time when those that have had their hearts and minds closed to Him are open and vulnerable to what He has in store for them.  Pray for safety, confidence, strength, and openness for all!

Emily after her performance as a scary mom...I look scarier in this pic!

My Atlanta girls-- Caroline, Laura, Ana, and Peyton

5. I really enjoy planning events for the single ladies!

     As you know, I love opening my home to the single ladies once a month.  This month we decided to go out on the town.  A lot of us enjoyed dinner at a Peruvian restaurant and the opening night of Les Miserables as a Valentine's treat to ourselves!  It was so great to be surrounded by some great women.  God continues to provide a great community around me here in Bolivia, yet I continue to ask him where the men are...haha... he has not shown me yet.  :)  Please pray for our March get-together that it will be fun, full of fellowship, and bring glory to God!

Dinner with the single ladies...and one married

4. Saturday morning market runs are some of my favorite times of the week.

    My neighbor Kaitlyn and I usually gather our market bags and money and walk the kilometer and a half to the closest market.  I really enjoy almost every aspect of our time together the walk, the talk, the laughter, the ladies we know by name that sell us fruits and vegetables, the smiles on their faces as we greet, the Spanish lessons that divinely occur, and the great fresh food we get every time.  These far outweigh the honks of Bolivian taxi drivers as they see the gringas walking down the road, dodging crazy drivers as we  cross the street, and the gross smells of hanging meat in the market.  I know I have a few months, but I will really miss my market time with Kaitlyn when she leaves me at the end of the school year!

 
 

   

3. Honesty strengthens friendships!
    Since I have been here, I have learned that being a friend is a give and take, and my true friends will call me out when I am not doing either one.  If I am going to be honest, there are some people that I thought would communicate with me on a regular basis and some that wouldn't.  With most my instincts were right, but their have been some surprises and disappointments.  There are moments that I have blamed others for not communicating yet I don't look at what I have or haven't done to communicate with them.  I have to remind myself that this is a two way street with different amounts of give and take at different times in life.  I remember a fight that my bf Amy and I had once where she laid it all on the table about how I wasn't being a good friend and I in turn did the same.  I remember that being a turning point in our relationship to being true friends that will fight to keep the friendship.  I have had a conversation like that recently with a friend here in Bolivia, and although I haven't known her that long I believe that it was life-giving to the friendship we do and will continue to have.

Love you Amy!  Miss my long hair!

2. God is faithful to provide community and family here in Bolivia!
    Outside of the friendship of many single ladies, God has given me two families here that love and take care of me when I need it.  The Reeds and the Kienzles have been some of the most loving and life-giving people I could ever ask for.  They are not old enough to be my parents but they treat me like I am their own.  They have been a beautiful display of what it means to be a part of the family of God.  They bring meds when I am sick, laughs when I am down, and hugs when I am in need.  Their children are like my brothers and sisters (even though I teach one of them).  They invite me for meals, support me in my coaching and teaching, and encourage me in who I am made to be!  I love you all...yes, even your dogs...I know, crazy, but I am growing in dog like because of you guys too!  God moves in mysterious ways...:)!

Rhonda and JD Reed

Nathan, Abie, Grace Reed

Abie Reed and Bekah Kienzle

Paul and Laura Kienzle

1. The word of God is living, breathing, and will continually give joy to a weary soul.
   Three weeks ago, I was at wits end with some of students and it brought me to tears and the realization that I was trying to do all of this on my own.  That night I skipped out on other obligations to spend time really listening to God, longing to be refreshed by His word and His spirit.  He delivered.  He used 1 Kings 19 to speak to me again about the fact that he is faithfully preparing me for the future and He is present in my present giving me strength and hope in times of despair.  He has used 1 Kings 19 at two significant times in my life and yet again the Holy Spirit took me there again.  I love that he keeps taking me back to this passage.  I believe it deserves its own post, so be on the look out for the next post on the provisions of God to prepare us for what is ahead even in our fear.  Until then know that His word is living and has the power to change your mind and heart about the situation you are in.

Our God continues to move here in Bolivia in spite of my attitude, my fear, and my lack of confidence!  Nothing is impossible for Him!

Seeking His Loving Arms

Unlovable...that is how I felt a few weeks ago.  I was being attacked by Satan's lies that I, a daughter of the King, am unworthy of love.  At the SAM Bolivia Conference two weeks ago, I shared these feelings with my divinely appointed small group of women.  They spoke truth over me, yet I was still not convinced that I could be loved.  I couldn't figure out why I felt this but knew it had something to do with the fact that I am 32 and unmarried with no prospects living in Bolivia where the only missionaries I see everyday are single girls or married people.  I learned great things at conference about myself and God in spite of the lies to which I was listening.

The last week was been a roller coaster of emotions for me, with the great things I gained from the conference and getting back to teaching to hearing of my niece being hospitalized with viral encephalitis as well as dealing with my own sickness.  The frustrations were starting to outweigh any love for Bolivia that was developing.  Satan was continuing his work in hitting me where I am weak, to the lies he adds frustration.

This past weekend while I was home resting, I started reading back through my journal from the last two years.  It seems that I have continually been a frustrated, selfish, rejecter of God's love for some time.  Where is my joy coming from if not from His love?  Where was a woman after God's own heart and not the heart of man?  As I continued to read, I came across where I had written out Psalm 116.  I read it to myself and then read it aloud. Here it is:

I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy

Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.

The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me;

I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.

Then I called on the name of the Lord:

"O Lord, save me!"

The Lord is gracious and righteous;

Our God is full of compassion.  

The Lord protects the simplehearted;

When I was in great need, he saved me.

Be at rest once more, O my soul,

for the Lord has been good to you.

For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my

feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living.

I believed; therefore I said, "I am greatly afflicted."

And in my dismay I said, "All men are liars."

How can I repay the Lord for all his goodness to me?

I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord.

I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people.

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.

O Lord, truly I am your servant, the son of your maidservant.  

YOU HAVE FREED ME FROM MY CHAINS!

I will sacrifice a thank offering to you and call on the name of the Lord.

I will fulfill my vows to the  Lord in the presence of all his people.

In the courts of the house of the Lord- in your midst, O Jerusalem.

Praise the Lord!

Even in typing that out word for word, the Spirit convicts me of the situations that He has brought me out of that I have not been thankful for, of the answered prayers I have received that I have not turned to praise, but most importantly of the love that He so freely gives day in and day out that at times I reject.  What a fool am I to not take JOY in the fact that I have been delivered and freed of the chains of this world!  What a fool I am to label myself as unlovable because I am not married, yet know and believe in the Ultimate Love of Jesus!  Is HIS love not enough for me?  

The truth is...I am LOVED, ACCEPTED, WORTHY, VALUED, and SAFE in HIS ARMS, and sometimes His arms come in many shapes and sizes.  It comes in sweet encouraging notes put in my box at school.  It comes in cookies and banana bread from a student and her mom.  It comes in 3 different types of medication brought to my door by a loving, caring friend.  It comes in a hug from a neighbor when my heart is hurting for my niece.  It comes from parents that allow me to cry in their ears. It comes from a package filled of pumpkin coffee, pumpkin oatmeal, pumpkin cookies, movies, jello, and iTunes card sent from a bestie.  It is friends that sit with me on the kitchen floor and play with your hair and make you laugh as I wait to see if my body will react to that piece of bread they made me eat. It comes in a neighbor washing my clothes when I am too weak to do it myself.  It is kind words from so many when I am so far from home.  It comes from the little voices on the Skype screen saying my name.   He loves me so much!  Why do I ever doubt it?   Why do I not even try to love Him like he loves me?

In light of these revelations, I am making it a point to seek His arms and fall more in love with Jesus while getting to know the author of my story more fully.  I will be Praying the Names of God these next weeks.  I will be learning about and finding joy in who God is.  I am on day two of Elohim- God, Mighty Creator and I love it.  It is a great reminder of the truths I already know.  I seek to be full of joy in His presence!! 

Blessed Beyond Measure

My first time to hold and look at this beautiful little boy, Jude!

As some of you may or may not know, I got to spend the week between Christmas Eve and New Years Eve with my family.  Although all my friends here in Bolivia knew I was going home, my family had absolutely no clue!!  I giggle every time I think about it...It was one of the greatest surprises that I have ever pulled off.  I have really always loved surprising people from showing up unexpectedly for a long weekend home, jumping out of closets to scare people, showing up in a different state for my friends birthday, and so many others.  So when my sister-in-law Jordan put me on her Christmas list as something she wanted for Christmas, I knew I had made the right decision to surprise them for Christmas.

In November, I intentionally purchased my ticket  to have an overnight layover in Dallas so that I could meet my friend Rene's new boyfriend and see the Dickens and their 9-month-old, Truman.  I knew that coming back to the US, I needed to see some of my friends along with my family.  My heart was overjoyed and my spirit refreshed to hug and converse with these beautiful people that I missed so much.  I also contacted my friend Ashley to pick me up from the airport and take me to my parents' house.  She is always such an encouragement to me when I see her and this time I was also encouraged by her brother Kevin.  I am truly blessed by God to have friends that love me, encourage me, and lift me up.  I can't wait to see and hug on others this summer!

It really did not seem real that I was going home until I was actually on the ground in Dallas hugging Rene's neck and then again driving from Little Rock to my parents' front door.  Here is a video of me surprising them...thanks to Ashley for the great camera work. (The link is to where I uploaded it onto Facebook.)

Christmas Surprise Video

The rest of my Christmas Eve consisted of surprising my sister-in-law Jordan (video on Facebook), tickle fights with my nieces and nephews, holding my new nephew, surprising my brothers, surprising my grandpa and step-grandma, surprising Kathy Rowlett (her face was priceless), holding Jude, the Christmas Eve service at Downtown, and holding Jude.  It was really fun to surprise so many people in one day and of course meet my new nephew, Jude!

As you can imagine, Christmas day I did not get very many wrapped gifts, but the gift of being with my family was the best gift I could have ever received.  God also blessed me with a white Christmas.  Christmas night central and northeast Arkansas were under a blizzard warning.  In all my years of living in Searcy, we barely got snow and if we did it was in January or February.  We woke up the day after Christmas to 6 to 8 inches of beautiful, softly fallen snow.  It was BEAUTIFUL!!  My dad and I built a snowman and made snow angels while mom made Chex mix ( I love the smell of it cooking!). Later I spent time playing with my nieces and nephew in the snow at their house.  They were so excited!

The remainder of my time was filled with many blessings such as my favorite meal of poppyseed chicken, shopping with my mom, Starbucks run with my papa :), catching up on Duck Dynasty with Jordan, Mexican with Penny and Jason, spending time with my brother-from-another-mother Scott and his new wife Melissa, getting my hair cut, getting to wear sweatshirts and scarves, worshiping with Downtown Church, soup with my parents' small group, phone calls with Amy and Kat, and the hugs... hugs are my favorite!

My blessings number the stars and my time with family and friends are many of those blessings!  How great is our God that he would give me the opportunity to laugh, cry, be encouraged by, and loved on by these beautiful people that I have been blessed to call family and friends.  You all bring JOY to my heart!  I praise God for bringing joy to my heart through the people (even my brothers and sisters in Bolivia) in my life not the things that I have or don't have or the places I am or am not.  He continues to make it known to me that He is all I need, and there are little bits of Him in every person that I come in contact with. 

Jordan and Jude...LOVE them!

The best we could get...hahaha!