The Second Year...Part 2 (a little late)

TEACHING... 

This year I am teaching 7th and 8th grade Science as well as Bible.  I teach the first 4 periods of the day and counsel the reminder of my day.  I have followed my 6th graders to 7th grade to get on their nerves...some of them think :) !  The first day of school it was nice to start my day with students that I knew.  When I asked how many of them were nerves about junior high, most raised their hands.  I tried to calm their nerves by sharing my nerves too!  We agreed it was great to start the day with each other.  It has been great to continue to teaching them.  My last year in the states I also got to move up to 7th grade with my students, and it was one of the best years I had at Crabapple!  I do miss being a Husky some days!!  It took a couple of days for my 8th graders and I to warm up to each other, but I really enjoy them!!

Cell Process Skits

Diffusion

Osmosis

Osmosis

Endocytosis

Exocytosis

Classifying Toys

 I teach Life Science to both 7th and 8th grade as well as "Discovering Our Amazing God" with both grades for Bible.  Three out of my 9 years of teaching in the states I taught Life Science so it is familiar to me, but Bible is another story.  Obviously, I am familiar with the Bible and enjoy spending time reading it myself.  Teaching the Bible as a daily Bible class to junior high students can be a challenge, especially when all there is to guide me is a workbook.  I have never been a lover of workbooks, so it has taken me until now to see some good in it.  It can be very easy to assign pages, discuss them a bit, and wait until the bell rings.  That is so boring!  I have fought the temptation to go page by page, but some days I fall short.  The last 4 weeks I have had a student teacher that has done a great job of using the workbook as a guide and throwing in some outside information to make it a little less boring.  Esther, my student teacher, did a creativity unit with my students and had them show the creativity that God has given them. Here are some pictures of some of the projects turned in.

Last month, I did a unit on "Discovering God's Love".  I  enjoyed looking for videos, songs, and stories to help me get out of the workbook and into the real world.  I worked to make this a unit that my students will not forget.  I wanted them to come out of the unit knowing, seeing, and experiencing the love of God through His word, myself, their parents and each other.   All I could do was pray that their hearts and minds would be open to the love that God has for them. I pray that God revealed himself to them in ways they never knew, and that he continues to show them how much they mean to Him.   I told them from the beginning that my prayer for them was Ephesians 3:16-21.

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in you inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.  And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

I ended the unit with a day of letters and another day of feasting in God's love.  I secretly asked parents to write their students letters sharing how much they loved them.  I also asked that the parents would get letters from other adults in their lives.  The students knew they were getting letters from their classmates and myself, but did not know about any other letters.  When I gave them their letters to read, some were very shocked and others were brought to tears by the words that their parents and others shared with them.  It was so fun to see them experience the love God has for them through others.  

The next morning we feasted on pancakes (I made close to 80!) and other breakfast yummies to celebrate the love that our Heavenly Father lavishes on us everyday!!

Please pray for these 7th and 8th graders!  This time of life is up and down, hormones throwing them into crazy moods and feelings of confusion creeping in at any moment.  Pray that they know they are loved and cared for by God even when they feel unlovable!

Freeing Me from My Chains

God has blessed me these last couple of weeks with rain and cooler weather (see previous post).  Unfortunately, I think that is coming to an end.   I know he will bless me in other ways!  He is faithful to do so!  Just today he showed me how truly faithful he is and how much he loves me!

This morning I went to church at Iglesia Kairos!  This is a Spanish church that I have been attending regularly.  God drew me to this church for two reasons: the worship, and it felt like home.    The first time I attended the pastor even told me (in Spanish), "This is your home."  Although really the only time I go to this church is Sunday morning, I still feel like I am loved and cared for by each one of those people.  The Holy Spirit is in that place and in those people.  I am always blessed to be there, even if I don't always understand what they are saying.  

Today was different.  I asked the girls that I was with to sit in the back because I was tired of having the gringa (white girl) row in the front middle.  They were cool with it.  Worship started and I could tell that there was something different, something better about today.   We usually stand for most songs until the offering.  After the offering was taken a young man that doesn't usually sing started a slow, beautiful song.  I didn't know the words because it wasn't one of the 8 or so songs that I usually hear.  It was new and beautiful.  I closed my eyes and listened, but when the man behind me started singing that was when the tears started flowing.  A brief thought of wanting a husband that could sing came into my head, but then a small voice said, "It is me your God singing over you".  It was sweet and precious.  I had no clue what was being said yet I knew this was my Father loving me in that moment!    This verse came to mind:

On that day it shall be said to Jerusalem:

“Fear not, O Zion;

    let not your hands grow weak. 

The Lord your God is in your midst,

    a mighty one who will save;

he will rejoice over you with gladness;

    he will quiet you by his love;

he will exult over you with loud singing.

I will gather those of you who mourn for the festival,

    so that you will no longer suffer reproach.

Zephaniah 3:16-18

After I recovered from those tears, Tonchy started his sermon.  We started reading in Luke 23:26, where Simon carried Jesus' cross and then went on to talk about criminals who spoke of how he could save himself and that he had done nothing wrong.  I was understanding most of what he was saying.  He was sharing the gospel of Christ with me in Spanish and I could UNDERSTAND!!  I think I smiled a little bigger in those moments of total understanding.  I even shook my head as if to say Amen, a few times.  I sat in awe of what God was doing in my head, opening my mind to words that made no sense before, yet today made perfect sense.  It wasn't until he started talking about how the darkness fell over the land that my tears started again.

You see lately I have been sitting in unhappiness/ sadness/ depression.  I am not sure what to call it, but it has been dark and lonely.  I have been listening to Satan's lies about not being good enough for this job as counselor and teacher. I have been judging myself based on the reactions of my students and the fruit, that hasn't had time to form, of my counselees.  In my mind, I have failed and with that comes unbelief that my God is enough, and I have been sitting in shame.  I was reminded by my counselor/ mentor and a card that I pulled from a can that my freedom from this is in His grace and truth…ONLY  in His grace and truth.  Tonchy said this so many times this morning that my sin and my life is purified in the light, love, and grace of Christ.  He loves me in my unbelief!  He loves me in my judgement of self! He loves me in my sad feelings!  Yet, he desires me to trust in Him to heal, to save, to rejoice over me with singing, but most importantly, to be enough.

These words from Psalm 116 have been echoing in my head for at least 5 years when Don McLaughlin had us stand at the beginning of every sermon in his series to read/ recite these verses.  God knew I would need these words again today as much as I needed them 5 years ago!!

" I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.

Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.

The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me;

I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.

Then I called on the name of the Lord:

"O Lord, save me!"

The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion.

The Lord protects the simple hearted; when I was in great need, he saved me.  

Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.

For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, 

that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living.  

I believed; therefore, I said, "I am greatly afflicted,"

And in my dismay I said, "All men are liars"

How can I repay the Lord for all his goodness to me?

I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord.  I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all His people.

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.  

O Lord, truly I am your servant; I am your servant, the son of your maidservant; you have FREED ME FROM MY CHAINS!"

Psalm 116: 1-16

His grace frees me from the chains I put on myself.  The chains of expectation, judgement, and shame.  He has saved me, and today in His loving embrace sang over me, he quieted me with his love, allowed me to understand one of his many languages, and showed me that his precious Word reminds me of his presence and power.  He chose me, and he loves me no matter what.  I may not be totally out of this pit of lonely darkness, but I am finding joy in it.

Rain Makes Me Happy!

You heavens above, rain down my righteousness; let the clouds shower it down. Let the earth open wide, let salvation spring up, let righteousness flourish with it; I, the Lord, have created it.

Isaiah 45:8

I write this as I listen to the sound of rain hitting my porch roof.  Rain has become one of my favorite things in Santa Cruz.  It is hot here!  I start pouring sweat when I walk out the door for my walk to school.  The sun is not fully up, yet I am sweating.  I long for rain that usually comes with a bit of cool air behind it.  For a few hours, I am briefly relieved from the heat that is Santa Cruz.   

My Birthday 2012

Before I was blessed with the ability to live in Bolivia, I saw rain as a nuisance.  Usually in Georgia and Arkansas there was a threat of tornado with the rain. It caused traffic accidents.  I got wet.  My hair looked horrible.  It canceled baseball games, and made me want to stay home.  I would even sing the song "Rain, rain, go away. Come again some other day."  Even now I still am reminded of the negative effects that rain can have on those around me.  In Santa Cruz, when the down pours of rain come flooding occurs, traffic stops because cars can't drive on the poorly, irrigated dirt roads.   The poor are forced from their homes in the canals, and their ways of making money are halted as they attempt to stay dry.  Businesses even close because of the rain. Last year on my birthday, they canceled school because of the flooding.  The sudden change in weather also causes headaches with some and the flaring up of allergies with others (both of these describe me at times), and even here rain still does nothing for my hair.

My Birthday 2012

A downpour a few days ago...I didn't take this picture.

Yet I still pray for the rain to come.  I have been blessed to see the life-giving quality that rain has for me as well as others.  I get to wear my rain boots and splash in huge puddles.  I get to enjoy the sound of it hitting my umbrella, the roof, and windows.  I enjoy the cool aftermath.  I also enjoy the fresh fruits and vegetables that grow bountifully because of the rain.  This sun-scorched land can cause my weariness, but the Lord showers me with refreshment when the rains come.
  

Horse jumping competition with friends

Jose' jumping in the rain.

Rain is also another sign of God's love for me.  He knows me.  He knows what I need.  He understands my need for something as small as a cool moment, to feel the wind on my skin and the rain falling on my umbrella.  He understands that waking me up with a thunderstorm is sometimes the only way he can get my stubborn attention and remind me of his love.  He brings his rain to refresh, to heal, to love, to bless, and to remind me that I am not alone.  

Today after school

Here are some verses I found about rain and showers from the Lord:

When you, God, went out before your people,

    when you marched through the wilderness,

8 

the earth shook, the heavens poured down rain,

    before God, the One of Sinai,

    before God, the God of Israel.

9 

You gave abundant showers, O God;

    you refreshed your weary inheritance.

10 

Your people settled in it,

    and from your bounty, God, you provided for the poor.

Psalm 68:1-7

He draws up the drops of water,

    which distill as rain to the streams;

28 

the clouds pour down their moisture

    and abundant showers fall on mankind.

29 

Who can understand how he spreads out the clouds,

    how he thunders from his pavilion?

30 

See how he scatters his lightning about him,

    bathing the depths of the sea.

31 

This is the way he governs the nations

    and provides food in abundance.

32 

He fills his hands with lightning

    and commands it to strike its mark.

33 

His thunder announces the coming storm;

    even the cattle make known its approach.

Job 36:27-33

RAINBOW!!

I will make a covenant of peace with them and rid the land of savage beasts so that they may live in the wilderness and sleep in the forests in safety.  I will make them and the places surrounding my hill a blessing. I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing. The trees will yield their fruit and the ground will yield its crops; the people will be secure in their land. They will know that I am the Lord, when I break the bars of their yoke and rescue them from the hands of those who enslaved them.  They will no longer be plundered by the nations, nor will wild animals devour them. They will live in safety, and no one will make them afraid.

Ezekiel 34:25-28

Do any of the worthless idols of the nations bring rain? Do the skies themselves send down showers? No, it is you, Lord our God. Therefore our hope is in you, for you are the one who does all this.

Jeremiah 14:22

Listen, you heavens, and I will speak;

hear, you earth, the words of my mouth.
Let my teaching fall like rain
 and my words descend like dew,
like showers on new grass,
like abundant rain on tender plants.
I will proclaim the name of the Lord.
Oh, praise the greatness of our God!
He is the Rock, his works are perfect,
and all his ways are just.
A faithful God who does no wrong,
upright and just is he.
Deuteronomy 32:1-4

Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.  But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

Matthew 7:24-27

Our God creates the rain!  He made it! He allows it to refresh and bless the earth and its people. He rains down blessings of his teaching and his salvation.  He uses it to test and to destroy.  He brings the rain.  He rains down His Holy Spirit and his loving-kindness!  He uses the rain to wash away the impurities in us and make us whole.  Bring your rain, Lord!

Selfie in the rain with bad hair!

The Second Year...Part 1

Tomorrow and Tuesday will be our first holidays of this school year.  We have successfully completed 5 1/2 weeks of school.  I was told last year that my second year would be way different than my first, and those have proven to be very wise words.  

When I arrived to my apartment in Santa Cruz, I was greeted with an apartment full of mold.  My shower had 5 inches of mildew/mold at the bottom.  My closet, where I left some clothes, was water damaged and my clothes were moldy.  Apparently, Santa Cruz had a lot of rain while I was gone and there was no air movement in my apartment...thus, the mold.  The day after I arrived, my friend and coworker Kate, came over to help clean and to catch up on our summers.  She was a life saver, and not only cleaned but left food, so I didn't have to cook.  After 7 loads of laundry, lots of scrubbing, inhaling fumes, scrapping, caulking, and painting, my apartment was back to normal before school started.  My God not only provided a friend to help clean and bring food, but he protected me from getting really sick from the mold.  There were only a few times when I had a hard time breathing... He is good to me!

Kate cleaning mold where the wall meets the roof...chunky!

When teacher meetings started, I didn't know where I would be doing my counseling.  I had a classroom for teaching 7th and 8th grade Science and Bible, but not an office to meet with students.  After looking at a few places with the elementary principal, the Lord made another place available to me to be used for counseling.  The Lord knew I desired a space to counsel both individuals and groups.  He knew that I needed a place where students feel safe and could come without reservation.  The day this room became available to me I was mad at the Lord for not providing what I needed.  I was frustrated, sad, angry, and expecting more.  I cried out to him that morning in my frustration and he answered me with so much more than I expected (my own bathroom :)). 

Welcome!

View as you enter...arranged by Hana Kamiya :)

Counseling area

Group Counseling/Teaching Area

Books, blocks, balls with faces, Miss Potato Head, stickers, and more to come...hopefully

My littlest counselee...She was having trouble playing nicely with Miss. Potato Head.

I now have a room where I have already sat with students in their anger, frustration, sadness, anxiety, and confusion.  With this room he is allowing me to not only reach out to elementary students, but junior high and high school students as well as teachers.  He has given me a space to allow him to work through me to accomplish Isaiah 61:1-6...

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

    because the Lord has anointed me

    to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

    to proclaim freedom for the captives

    and release from darkness for the prisoners,

to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor

    and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,

    and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,

the oil of joy instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness, 
a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. 

They will rebuild the ancient ruins

    and restore the places long devastated; 
they will renew the ruined cities

 that have been devastated for generations. 

Strangers will shepherd your flocks;

  foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.
And you will be called priests of the Lord, you will be named ministers of our God."

... and 1 Corinthians  9:19-23

Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone,to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law.  To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.

Counseling is a humbling experience.  Everyday I am brought to the realization that I can do nothing in this child's life without the Holy Spirit leading me through it every word and action taken.  It is draining, yet such a rewarding experience to give up my fleshly desire to fix and succeed through Him.  In Him, I know that good is being workout in some way.  These last five and a half weeks I have listened to kindergarden students all the way up to 12th graders who hurt, who don't understand why things happen to them or their families, who struggle with their self image, or who can't seem to control themselves.  Everyday I am reminded of how broken our world is, and I am also reminded of how only God can fix it.  I have no magic cure for students that come into my office.  I just have Jesus.  I have told two or three students that I can't fix them only God can do that because that is the only person who fixed me and continues to fix me everyday.  I love that I can pray with them, laugh with them, and cry with them.  

I am blessed by the Lord to be able to work with these students and teachers.  Please pray for wisdom and the presence of the Holy Spirit in every interaction with students and teachers.  Pray for rest and the ability to give other's burdens to the Lord.  Pray that I remember that I am not the fixer, but that He is!  Praise the Lord for the space He has given me, and for the opportunity to mentor, counsel, love, and encourage!  

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.Do not quench the Spirit. Do not treat prophecies with contempt but test them all; hold on to what is good, reject every kind of evil.May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-24

My Summer

It has been a long while since I wrote last!  Here's to catching up on blogging...

After school ended in June, I returned to the states to visit friends and family.  It was wonderful to have the quality time I had with each person, even if it was short.  Here are a few pictures to sum up my summer in the US.

Upon my late arrival to Dallas, I was met by Mama Mary and taken to a hotel with one of the best showers I had had in a long time.  Mama Mary and I caught up a little then headed to bed.  She treated me to breakfast the next morning and off I went to Little Rock to see my family!  I was so excited.  I had a suspicion that they would all be there...and they were...all dressed the same!  It was great to be hugged and kissed by all of them...even my brothers :)

It was fun to be home and spend time with my family for a few days before I left for Rene's wedding!  It was so much fun to have some time with Rene', Adam, her parents, her brother, and the BRIDESMAIDS (aka suite-mate reunion)!  Let's just say we were the funnest group of girls you could have asked for.

After a brief stop in Atlanta to worship and catch up with a friend, I headed to Chicago to help with the kids (5th through 8th grade) at TeachBeyond orientation.  I had the pleasure of working with one of the best teachers I have come in contact with and some great kids.  We talked about their expectations, identity, trust, being observant, and saying goodbye.  We acted, laughed, sang, journaled, researched, worked through obstacle courses, and laughed some more.  The kids even wanted to make a parody to the Veggie Tales song "God is Bigger Than the Boggie Man".  They entitled theirs "God is Bigger Than the Culture Shock."  They did a great job, and we even showed their to the adults.  Heather and I decided to make t-shirts with them, and included the title on the shirts.  It was a joy to learn from them and from Heather.  I loved every minute of it!

I also met some new missionaries while I was there, and am anxiously waiting for one of them to show her face here in Bolivia.  Praying for that visa!!

It was then back to Atlanta for a week with my familia de Atlanta.  I was blessed beyond measure by my friends there.  I could truly write a blog about how humbled I was by their love and generosity.  God brought on the shock and awe of his provision!

My first Saturday in Atlanta my friends put together a fundraising dinner for me.  I had friends that took time away from other events in their lives and some that drove long distances to support me at this event which raised a little over $1000.  WHAT!??!?!  If that is not enough, the next day I was shut-your-mouth-and-say-thank-you-humbled with the gift of a new computer from a supporter along with a shopping outing the next day.  HOLY LORD IN HEAVEN...what was HE doing?
HE LOVES ME!!  He was providing for me above and beyond anything that I could have ever done.  Whoa!

My friends are amazingly, wonderful and I could have never made it through this past year without them.  They knew what I needed when I arrived in Atlanta...baseball, fireworks, quality time, good food, and worship.  Yet one of my favorite things to do with them is worship.  I was brought to tears, and reminded of how much I miss worshipping with them as I stood with hands raised listening to their beautiful voices. What a joy it is to have friends that I can freely worship the Lord with!  I love that I had (still have) a community that I can truly call brothers and sisters.  I love and miss them dearly!

After my visit to Atlanta, I headed to Memphis for a wicked fun 60th birthday party of some dear friends that I consider family.  Before heading to the party, I was reunited with family that I had not seen in 6 years, my brother, Daniel, and his family, at the hospital.  On July 4th, I got a text saying my niece, Haley, had had another seizure and was in the hospital on the ventilator.  The hospital that was taking care of her just happen to be within 10 minutes of the party.

My dad and my niece, Hannah, met me in the parking lot.  It was amazing to see that the little peanut that I remember had grown into a beautiful young lady.  Come to find out she is hilarious too!  Finally making it to the room, I, at last, laid my eyes on the strong and amazing young lady that I had prayed for so much.  My heart broke to see her in that bed, but I found joy in the fact that I was seeing her.  Over the next few days I watched my brother and sister-in-law be some amazing parents to both Haley and Hannah.  I spent some great time with Hannah in the waiting room.  It brought joy to my heart to reunite, to witness healing, and to see the growth in my brother and his family, and even reuniting with "family" at the party was a blast too!

At the beginning of the summer, my plan for the next week was to fly to Arizona for a intensive institute with TeachBeyond.  I knew when my niece went into the hospital again, there was no way I could have focused intently, so I let them know that I was deciding to spend my remaining time with my family.

During the last three weeks of my time home I took my nieces and nephew to the park, went shopping with my mom and dad, watched baseball, took a road trip with Jordan (my sister-in-law) and her 4 children, caught up with old friends, celebrated birthdays, ate some good food, enjoyed visits of friends passing through, watched more baseball, and tried to prepare myself to come back to Bolivia for another year.  There is not a day that goes by that I do not miss my family and friends, but I am so grateful to God for the quality time and love I receive from each of them.

Haley and I

Hannah and I

As I look back on my time this summer, I thank God for opening my eyes to the things/people I have been missing, to how they/I have grown, and for loving me even when I am not looking at Him.  The night before I left, I went to give Jensen, Gintry, Georgia, and Jude one last kiss goodbye even though they were already in bed.  As I was hugging Jensen in his dark room, he asked me to turn on the light. I asked why, and his response was "I want to see your eyes."

As I started thinking about this desire to see my eyes, I realize that this is what I want from God.  I want to see His eyes this year.  His eyes are on the righteous, His eyes examine me, His eyes are on those who look to His unfailing love...My prayer is that I continue to desire to see His eyes.  This summer He saw what I needed and went above and beyond.  I pray that I can see his needs here and go above and beyond.  Give me light to see your eyes, Lord!