I have been thinking a lot lately about how I have changed
since Bolivia. In all honesty the transformation started before I even left for Bolivia.
Obviously, I have grown and changed throughout the years as I matured,
but that is not what I am talking about.
I am talking about the changing of the way I look at and face this
life.
Before Bolivia, I worked in the same job for 7 years, and
the last 5 of those years I had a longing for something more out of life. The job did not seem as challenging and it
seemed to be the same stresses day in and day out. Like many single girls, I
thought that “something more” was supposed to be a man. I was stuck in that mentality of “When I find
a husband my life will start.” I wasn’t
living life. I was not using my singleness
to glorify God. I mean sure I was
praying for and inviting coworkers to church.
I was actively involved in my young adult group, yet all along I felt
like there was more to be done.
In my pursuit of “something more”, I worked toward a
Master’s degree in School Counseling, a desire I had for many years before taking the
step to applying. When I graduated with
my Bachelor’s degree, I longed to be a counselor, to be a helper in the healing
and an encourager through transition. I knew students hurt and had lives at
home that kept them from doing their best in school. I knew there were kids that just need a safe
place, and I wanted to provide that. As
I grew in my knowledge of counseling and faced the task of finding
school counseling job in the states, I knew this was the type of work I was made for. Yet I still felt like this was not enough, there was
something not right about it. I wanted to be able to lead my students back to Christ.
As I contemplated my future after grad school, I turned to
the Lord and embarked on a 21-day fast,
the Daniel fast, which included a devotional thought each day that ended with questions like…What are
your fears? What are your goals? What are the desires of your heart? Each of
the questions were brought back to prayer, a two-way conversation with God. I
really had to allow the Holy Spirit to reveal to me who I was, and in understanding
myself, I had to take action to overcome the fears and live.
For so many years, I believed the lie that going to college,
getting a job, getting married, having children, and growing old was what I was
SUPPOSED to do. I let the fear of going
outside the norm hold me back from actually LIVING life the way I should as a
Child of God. So I stepped out against the norm, the fears, the questioning,
and the doubts, abandoning comfort, to gain life.
My time preparing for and being in Bolivia included some of
the hardest days of my life as well as some of the most joyous days of my life.
God allowed me to minister to students, teachers, and friends while being
ministered to. He gave me opportunities
to trust Him with my finances, my safety, my tongue, my heart, my friendships,
and my counseling. As I listened, taught, and guided students that the Lord
would put in my path, he also gave me peers that confided in me and at times
sought me for understanding. To some
students, I became a mentor, calming agent, confidant, friend, and helper in
the healing. To some teachers, I became
a safe place, a coach, an ear that hears, and an encourager through transition.
Some days I wonder why I left Bolivia, I was ALIVE there. I was doing what I was made to do.
I wasn’t longing for something more because I had it. I was trusting and believing that the creator
of the universe was enough. As I look
back at the last two years, I realize that living as a Child of the King means
abandoning every thought you had of how life should be lived and putting every trust and care in the hands of the creator. I don't want to live this life in a state of always longing for something more or wishing I was somewhere else. He has shown me that truly living in Him is losing myself and chasing after Him.
So as I press on toward what is ahead, I press through those
fears, doubts, and questions as I fight the battle of the life I am “supposed”
to live versus the life directed by God.
I press on toward the goal of serving all single female missionaries
within TeachBeyond as I served my students and peers in Bolivia. These ladies are facing some of the most
difficult and joyous times of their life, and God has given me the opportunity
to encourage, guide, and coach them throughout this time in their lives. I am truly alive when I am in relationship
with them, and doing what I am made to do. Recently, I have coached 5
women through the Cerny-Smith Assessment.
During the coaching we work together to establish action steps that she
will take to enhance her capability of handling little stresses as well as
meeting her biggest stresses head on.
These conversations have been a great place for me to meet each woman
where she is, establish connection, and allow a safe nonjudgmental place to
open up. After each Skype chat, I feel
more and more alive in who God has made me.
In this next year, I desire to focus more on this position
with TeachBeyond, coaching and counseling the single women that are on the
field and returning home. Missionaries need encouragement. They need to be reminded to take time for
themselves. They need help understanding
culture shock, dealing with co-workers or roommates, working through the emotional
baggage they brought with them that is being magnified, dealing with the loss
of loved ones back home…I could go on.
My ministry allows me to breathe life into those ministering to children
and adults who don’t know the Savior that gives everlasting life. This ministry
is critical in helping missionaries thrive while on the field as well as when
they return.
My support goal is $1500 per month. At this time I have about 30% pledged and
coming into my account. I am aiming to have 100% support pledged by February 28th. If
you would like to support me in this ministry, you can click the link below
that goes to the TeachBeyond website where you can give a one-time donation or
sign-up for a monthly donation. I also have my own donation page coming soon.
Know that in your giving you are providing support for not only one missionary but more than 50 missionaries who are reaching the nations! Please join me bringing LIFE to the nations!
