My "KIDS"

I am always writing posts in my head that never actually get turned into posts and end up getting lost inside of my head until I am prompted by the Holy Spirit to write.  However, the one I started writing in my head last night I thought I should actually put to virtual paper, if only to show you the emotional roller coaster that is constantly jolting back and forth in my heart and head.

I cried myself to sleep last night...that is the end of the story, yet it is really difficult to know exactly where the story began.  It perhaps was the day(s) the Lord gave me the privilege of being an aunt!  This picture is my desktop background on my school computer at the present moment. 

These are 6 of my 8 beautiful nieces and nephews.  I love them!  I miss them!  I long to hug and kiss them, and to hear them say my name as they run with arms open!  Being an aunt is one of the greatest blessing God has given me.  Even though they are not from me, they are part of me!  I love them more than anything!  Being so far from home has intensified my love for them.  Talking to them over skype has it's fun moments, but it is hard to connect with the couple that seem to be scared of the fact that I am on a computer and not in person.  I can't chase them around the house, have tickle fights, or shoot nerf guns at them through a screen.  Last night, I found myself looking through pictures and videos of my sweet little people from this summer with laughter and tears!

As I tried to stop crying, I prayed for each of  their hearts to be open to what God has for their lives.  As I prayed I thought about my kids, if I am to have some one day, and that their hearts would be open to God as well.  From there, instead of focusing on my singleness, my Father God reminded me of the many "kids" I already have.  Just last night, I got to facebook chat with two of my former 6th graders that are now in college.  Kristen and Margaret are two of the many students that I pray I get to see grow to be successful children of God.  I am so blessed to be a teacher in that I am blessed with many "kids" that I get to influence and be influenced by. 

With that said, I still have my ups and downs here in Bolivia.  I laugh. I cry. I remember that God provides.  I have many desires.  I desire to hug my family.  I desire to be a Red Sox bat girl...haha!  I desire a helpmate and children of my own.  I desire to serve him with my whole life, not just the parts I am willing to hand over to Him.  Yet along with these desires comes the fact that I have a heavenly Father that provides what I NEED.  He knows me inside and out.  He knows when I need love from my little people.  He knows when I need someone to hug me and listen.  He knows that I can't live this life on my own.

HE FAITHFULLY PROVIDES ALL I NEED! 

 

In my sorrow, he provides joy.  In my thirst and hunger, he provides living water and the bread of life.  In my loneliness, he provides friendship and community.  So today as I write this in my classroom, he has provided/surrounded me with children that I can call mine because He has allowed me to be a part of their lives in some way.  Children that I can love and cherish all my days on this Earth as He uses me to help them get to heaven and as they do the same for me! 

Please keep me in your prayers tonight as I will be at a sleepover with all my 6th grade girls for a birthday party!  It is very exciting and a little nerve-racking that I get to hangout with them outside of school, but I believe that He will provide what I need...and perhaps ibuprofen! :)